Thoughts On Quotes

“With freedom, books, flowers and the moon, who could not be happy? Oscar Wilde

“Be yourself; everyone else is taken.” Oscar Wilde

I often find myself wishing I could have met this man. Love some of his quotes. So many pull me into a heartfelt place where I feel grounded, centered and deep in thought of what really matters.

Had I lived back in the 1800’s, I think he’s someone I could have had long meaningful conversations with while sitting on a park bench or meandering through a forest path under a starry night sky. I like his words, his voice, his personal, unique, simple, yet powerful way of speaking his truth.

There’s another wisdom quote I like which so far, I’ve only found signed by Anonymous. It says; “I didn’t change. I just woke up.” In reference to that quote on the internet, another quote says; “One of the greatest feelings in life. This moment when it all suddenly makes sense.”

I love experiencing these kinds of moments. I’ve come across numerous such moments in my life so far. Some I wrote about in my book In Search of Oneness. Some like a spectacular sunset or sunrise bring a sense of wonderment and awe, others are more life jarring moments yet it is often through some of those more difficult moments that the much deeper learnings come through.

Some people call them “aha” moments. I’m not referring to the kind of moments like finally finding my glasses when they were sitting on top of my head the whole time I’ve been spinning around the room looking for them.

I’m talking about moments that knock me off my feet. Moments where everything suddenly clicks into place like Lego blocks. Then, bang! There it is and the words OMG! automatically tumble out of my mouth, because the thing I was pushing up against trying to ignore can no longer be denied. Nor do I want to. My job now is to embrace it, embody it, live it.

A quote I consistently bumped up against on my life journey.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

*Reflection time at my favorite spot in Valemount. Not at all what it looks like sitting at my computer at home watching the snow come down.*

Losing Track of Time

“The only time I feel like myself is when I am writing.” Abigail Thomas

Now there’s a sentence that made me stop in my tracks and do some pondering. Is that true for me?

It’s not the only time I feel like myself but it sure helps me to be myself. To know who I am. To know how I feel. To figure shit out. To let things go. To relax. To find my words and to have a voice. To acknowledge what I’m grateful for. To navigate my way through the fog that can creep into life and make me lose my way. Writing turns on the headlights so I can navigate through the fog and find the sun.

Here’s what I’m realizing is true for me; The only time I completely lose track of time is when I’m writing. And that says a lot.

Halloween Has Come and Gone

We panicked at the number of kids showing up on our doorstep and how quick the candy bowl was emptying out which prompted a decision to jump in the car scoot over to town and get more goodies.

While I was on my aquisition mission, Andree reported six more came by which left us with pretty slim pickings.

But wouldn’t you know it, once I showed up with the loot to replenish the now empty bowl, only two more appeared and that was it. No more trick or treaters.

Guess who got stuck holding the bag. Not the first time.

Sweet tooth anyone?

Well, at least we had fun carving the pumpkins and making a display on our front steps. Some kids were too excited to notice and others were intrigued enough to comment on the carved pumpkins.

Till next year!

Might just be our turn to dress up and go door to door.

Time-Lapse

If I could give you a sequence of frames at set intervals to show you the changes that took place slowly over the long period of time since the last post I made here and have it play at normal speed so it wouldn’t bore you to death, I would do that. But, I’m not that technical. Maneuvering my way around this blog is just about as technical as I want to get and even that makes my old brain spin.

Keep it simple I always say but is there anything simple anymore? Cheerios and a peanut butter sandwich. That’s about as simple and basic as it can get unless it’s not already in your house and you have to go shopping for it. That can be a whole different story. Big box or little box, Kraft or Skippy, crunchy or smooth, huge jar or little jar.

And don’t get me started on the gazillion types of chicken soup, mushroom soup, or even tissues for that matter. With lotion, without, one ply, two ply, hypoallergenic or…..and on and on it goes. It’s nice to have choices but holy moly, grocery shopping can sure deplete my energy in a hurry.

Book stores, stationery stores? That’s a whole different story. Energy abounds!

Speaking of books, recently I read and listened to Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. There’s nothing that beats holding a paperback copy in my hands but I also listen to audio books when I’m on the road and I’ve been on the road a lot lately. What pulled me to get the audio version of this book is because it’s narrated by Meryl Streep and I absolutely love that woman. Her skill in narating just made the book that much more interesting. I loved the way she breathes life into a story.

The reason I’ve been on the road a lot is that back in June, I started doing some contract work in Edmonton which is 4.5 hours or 430 km away from where home is. When I am in Edmonton I live on site and I am there for two weeks then come home for two weeks and repeat this every month. This is another reason why my time is limited these days, but I love the work. It’s meaningful life-giving and purposeful. Being away from my partner for that length of time is the tough part especially since her health makes it difficult for her to manage on her own right now.

Swimming is the best therapy for her and tonight we went to the pool again (45 minutes away). We try to go as often as possible when I’m at home. On the way back from the pool we were gifted with the spectacular sight of the full moon making it’s way over the horizon. It was hard to keep my eyes on the road being the moon nut that I am.

Photo Credit Courtesy of
Marcel Tanguay

Writing Challenges

“It would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than one cat.”
Barbara Holland

Some mornings are frustrating. Just when I get settled deep into my writing, Misty jumps up on my desk and plunks herself right smack in the middle of my page.

I tell her what Ernest Hemingway said: I will lose it if I talk about it. But as you can see, she refuses to budge. She demands to know what is so interesting that it can keep me in my chair scribbling away on a page when there are so much better things to do. Like petting her or going outside with her. I swear that cat thinks she’s a dog.

If she happens to spot me set out on a walk, there she is following in my footsteps not to far behind. When she does that, I doddle around a block or two then slowly my way back home. Then as soon as she gets distracted by the neighbors dog or a leaf tumbling in the wind, I quickly make my escape and take off for a much longer walk on my own. She can be a damn nuisance at times, yet she’s treated like royalty around here, but all in all, she’s added life to the place and we enjoy having her around.

I’ve dedicated a lot of hours trying to learn how to navigate my way around this new blog site I’m using. It’s been frustrating as hell. I’ve got some basics now but has it ever sucked up a lot of my time. Although I’ve had a Saskatchewan blogger friend assist me in getting off the ground,(which has been greatly .appreciated), I still wish I had someone to teach me “hands on”. I know it’s possible to do all kinds of neat stuff, like shrink pictures, add a video, and use all kinds of tools to simply the way to make posts, make it look better and be less time consuming. I learn so much better if someone teaches me than through these lousy webinars or even YouTube tutorials that go way faster than my brain can keep up with, but I haven’t come across anyone who can teach me that way. Not yet anyway. In the meantime I’ll keep plugging along when time permits.

I’m presently taking a 6 week online course with Mark Matousek and about 15 or so other participants. It’s called Writing Naked: Revealing the Truth in Memoir. I’ve completed two assignments so far. The options to write about are challenging to say the least. Makes us dig deep with the aim of taking us to a place where we can write without hiding. Mark says, “we rarely tell the whole truth in our lives,” and I totally agree with that statement. It doesn’t mean we have to put it out there in the form of a published memoir for the world to read but how much freer we would feel if we could at least be truthful to ourselves. Digging deep and looking behind the scenes isn’t always the cat’s meow though.

Come to think of it, maybe it’s when Misty senses things are getting difficult on the page that she jumps on my desk and sprawls herself across my writing. Maybe she’s trying to tell me she cares and it’s time for a much needed break. Gotta love that mischievous little pain in the butt!

It’s a rainy, cold, dreary day in this part of the prairies. I’m about to pack a bag and head to the Agriplex close to an hour’s drive south. A swim, and a soak in the hot tub is bound to lift my spirits and help make this cloudy day somewhat brighter. Besides, since this last birthday, I am considered elderly enough to get in free. Bonus! There are some perks to old age!

Pausing and Slowing Down

Something precious is lost if we rush headlong into the details of life without pausing for a moment to pay homage to the mystery of life and the gift of another day. Kent Nerburn

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To stop rushing around, to sit quietly on the grass, to switch off the world and come back to the earth, to allow the eye to see a willow, a bush, a cloud, a leaf, is an unforgettable experience. Frederick Franck

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The first quote above came to me in an email from a friend who lives in Montreal. The second quote came in a letter from a friend from Armstrong where I once lived too. Looks to me like the universe is trying to tell me to pay attention to something.

If I lived near or by a forest with giant cedars, or near or by an ocean or a lake, that’s likely where you’d find me but since I live in the prairies and the above is not available to me, here’s my idea of slowing down after a hard day’s work.

I walk down the gravel side road a little more than a km from my house then I walk down the dirt banks of this canal to past ten or so of these power poles in the field.

Once I get to a spot that has one of these dykes, I sit in the grass and read my book or write in my journal while listening to the sound of the water before heading back home or walking further down the bush line that leads to a lagoon.

While I was out there yesterday this flock of geese flew overhead honking away like a freight train at a railroad crossing. They sure can be a noisy bunch especially when there’s hundreds of them coming through.

There’s nothing like sunshine, fresh air my journal and/or a good book to relax, and yes, to appreciate the gift of another day.

Vintage – Limited Edition

That’s what they say about entering the 7^th decade. Vintage material!

Well, I’ve been called worse, I guess. Besides, isn’t vintage what they say about a well aged good quality high priced wine? An honorable thought for some. Not for me though. I’ve never even tasted wine. Can’t stand the smell of it actually. Makes me want to hurl. Ghosts from the past at play there.

It’s funny how some things get permanently embedded in the memory bank no matter how long ago it was and things that happened yesterday, or even five minutes ago, disappear to.……to hell knows where. (If you have any insight on where that stuff goes, let me in on it will you). Maybe funny is not the right word to describe memory gaps. It’s more like a mystery, frustrating, embarrassing at times, part of life, understandable, and confusing all at the same time.

But coming back to the vintage thing – vintage is all the rage nowadays isn’t it. People go out of their way and pay big money to find vintage clothing, pieces of furniture, dishes, jewelry and such. Often worth more than it ever was before by the mere fact that it’s old or a limited edition. Who knows? Maybe my own worth is accumulating each and every day I’m blessed to have here.

It took me a little while for my mind to adjust to this turning 70 milestone though. But I’m settling in with it now and darn proud of it. It’s a good time to do some readjusting to my work schedule. Take a leap of faith into new adventures. Watch the sunset. Listen to the frogs. Sit under a tree. Do more reading, writing, walking, cycling, travelling, connecting. I think I’ve got this!

So, my birthday celebration started on Easter weekend when my partner informed me to pack a bag and not ask any questions. Plans had been made and we were going to Edmonton.

And what a fun surprise it was! On Thursday night we checked into a nice hotel with a pool and hot tub and the two of us had a relaxing evening. The next day after a bit of shopping and visiting a friend, I was told we had to get back to the hotel to get ready for our next appointment. Upon entering our room my partner says she needs a nice cold glass of water and asks me to go fill the ice bucket. “Okay,” I said, and off I went.

Unbeknownst to me, my daughters had checked into the hotel and were staying in the adjoining room to ours. I walked in with the ice bucket and there they were sitting on the couch in our room. We had a bit of time to visit before whisking off for dinner at Earls where we were joined by my son-in-law, my oldest granddaughter and my oldest grandson and his wife. The next day was girls spa day followed by a soak in the pool and hot tub followed by a movie night.

Adding to all the meaningful connection time with loved ones were some heart warming gifts that meant the world to me. A beautiful leather-bound book put together by my daughter Brenda, filled with numerous messages, letters, pictures, and gifts from friends of mine that her and Andree contacted so they could contribute to the project.

I am one lucky dude I tell you. I am filled with gratitude for each and every moment of everyday that comes my way.

Control or Not, Alone or Not?

The sun is coming up behind the clouds. It always does, doesn’t it? Whether we see it or not, it’s there, doing its thing. Being true to itself. Just hanging out in the vast prairie sky until it’s time to bid us goodbye.

Very quietly, it goes about its business, slips behind the horizon and goes on to greet people good morning on the other side of the world. It often leaves us with jaw dropping sunsets that brings tears to my eyes. It’s all so miraculous when I really think about it.

But we don’t think about it much, do we? We’re too focused on our aches and pains, our worries, our fears. We forget to see the gifts that are there to help us see the bigger picture and to support us on our journey whatever the journey may happen to be for today.

I spent a lot of time on the road lately. One of the things I appreciate about travelling is it gives me time to slow down and let my thoughts wander instead of always being focused on the next task at hand. The road trips were unexpected ones that came about as a result of family and friends’ health situations and wanting to be there to love and support in whatever way we could.

Just like the sun shows up everyday to assure us that no matter what, life goes on, travelling through the mountains and being by the sea helped support us through the various situations that came our way.

What helps to put things into perspective and to stay calm and deal with things is come to an understanding of what we have control of, what we have only some control of, and what we have absolutely no control of. Another thing that helps is to realize that even if we are alone, we are never really alone – not really.

Waiting

As I wait for spring to arrive in full swing, I have been considering what other significant periods of waiting lands on our doorstep, knocks on our door, and touches our lives.

In a couple of weeks, my birthday will mark the beginning of yet another decade of my senior years. This approaching time frame comes with meandering thoughts about different periods of waiting of varying degrees that have come into my own life.

Waiting for a call from my daughter telling me she got back to her newly formed city life safely after paying us a visit at the farm where she grew up.

Waiting for new carrots and peas to be big enough to pull and eat fresh out of the garden.

Waiting to heal from various surgeries that were necessitated to keep this old body functioning properly through the years awarded to me thus far.

Waiting in airports to catch a flight to Quebec, Ottawa, Kelowna, Victoria, Barra-de Navidad México, Las Vegas, New York.

Waiting to find out what had happened to my son and if he would live or die.

Waiting to see what kind of marks I would get on exams I studied hard for which could lead me to earning a half-ass descent living.

Waiting to see if a 10-year long friendship that ended in 10 years of silent treatment would magically unwound.

Waiting to see the full moon start peaking over the horizon and slowly make its grand ascent into the vastness of the night sky filling me with a sense of connection to those who have already travelled to a world beyond.

Waiting for my partner to come home and once more be part of my daily life.

Waiting for the grips of grief to slowly dissipate into a knowing, a reassurance of how deeply I’ve lived, laughed and loved.

Now the geese are starting to arrive, the blue jays, the magpies, the nuthatch, and the sparrows are here. The next sure sign of spring will come with the arrival of the trusted robins, the green grass and of course our famous bright yellow dandelions. A cause for celebration!

Serenity

I love this photo that this lady posted on a Facebook page a long way back. I messaged her to tell her the photo had captured my attention. “You look so beautiful, so serene,” I told her.

I asked if she’d give me permission to use her photo on my blog, if I ever got it going again. She wrote back sometime later and said yes, I could.

Just looking at her photo brought me to a peaceful place. A place I want to enter and spend time. It’s inviting, welcoming, a soft space filled with respect, honor and being in the moment. A place of serenity.

It’s a place where I see visuals that speak volumes without words. A place of balance. Extended arms, an invitation to join. A sense of sacredness, of belonging wraps its arms around me and holds me close.

When I am surrounded by nature I feel serenity pour into me like warm toffee. I am grounded, safe, warm, secure. Writing, like nature, also brings me serenity. Occasionally it turns into a prayer in the form of a “Dear One” letter finding its way to the page.

Serenity, I’ve come to discover over the years, is a place, a feeling, a lived experience, I can create for myself regardless of where I am or what is happening around me.

Even in the midst of chaos I can manage to bring serenity to my inner world. A place where I am surrounded by a white, purplish bubble of light that allows me to let go of all worries and come back to a place of peace and tranquility – a place of serenity.